Replacement
by La Succube
Summary: SPOILER SEASON 6. After Raj opens up up to her and the girls, Penny decides to go check up on Stuart, who hasn't been seen for a while. She finds him depressed, thanks to a cute Indian in denial who can't see what is in front of him. StuRaj, (Coffee and Cream slash). May be continued.


_First ever Big Bang Theory fanfiction, with my OTP : StuRaj ! Begins at the end of the 6__th__ season, merely hours after Penny comes to comfort Raj, and discovers he can finally talk to women. For most of the "Lucy debacle", I was wondering "Where the hell is Stuart? He's supposed to be his flat-mate, shouldn't he be here for lobster and comfort sex?" So here's my answer, written at two in the morning. Stands as a ONE-SHOT, but might be continued._

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« Stuart ? »

Over the time, Penny had become increasingly familiar with the comic book store. The place was still mainly occupied by "nerdy" guys who were speechless when they saw a real-life woman, but regulars such as Captain Sweatpants or Orange Parka Guy were getting used to her presence, often seeing her with Leonard and Sheldon, but also when she gave in to her fangirl side and went to check the Thor and Birds of Prey new releases.

She didn't come by when the store was closed, though, and she was faintly put off by the gloomy atmosphere, with the only lights being a glowing Iron Man helmet and a blue lava lamp shaped like the orange-haired chick's weapon in One Piece. She could make out the hunched form of the owner sitting at the counter, however, and her heart skipped a beat. Damn, Stuart looked like hell.

"Stuart, are you alright?"

The derisive snort that was her answer did nothing to quell her worry, and the waitress approached carefully, catching the elusive scent of cigarettes and cheap vodka that came from the man.

_What are you doing here, Penny?

_Well, Raj just got dumped, and I noticed you weren't at his flat, so I was wondering-

_Why I wasn't here to cheer him up, and offer a skinny shoulder to cry on?

That was actually the truth, but his voice made it clear that this answer wouldn't go down well.

_Of course not! I wanted to know if you were okay!

_Well I guess the answer's pretty obvious, now, isn't it? I'm not, and I think I will never be.

Taking a seat across the sullen man, she finally saw his face clearly. Even paler than usual, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked as if he'd been the one gettting dumped tonight.

_Stuart, tell me, what's wrong? You look like hell, and I haven't seen you in a while. Did something happen?

_Happen? he laughed hollowly. Nothing ever happens to me, Penny. Don't worry about me, and go back to your friends.

The bitter tone could have offended her, but she only frowned in confusion.

_Sweetie, you're my friend, too! I-

_No I'm not! I'm the replacement friend, not a real one!

Wow, that was unexpected. The blonde blinked, the little outburst clarifying two things in her mind. First, Start had had way more than a glass of vodka if he was able overcome his social awkwardness like this. Second, she now had a partial grasp on the issue.

_Oh, Stuart, you don't really believe that, do you? It was only Sheldon being a jackass, as usual. C'mon, you saw that even after Howard's return, you were still part of our little group. He even complained that Raj spent more time with you than with him now!

_But I started off as this, didn't I?

She couldn't truthfully deny it, and prepared herself to avoid his stare, but he continued without even a mere glance.

_And now… Raj barely even spends time with me anymore, now that he found a new girlfriend. I'm pretty sure he barely noticed me moving back here.

Okay, now she was worried. He moved back into the small, shady area behind the store? How could Raj even let that happen?

There were more pressing matters at hand however, as she noticed it wasn't the major problem here.

_Oh, honey, I'm sure he didn't mean to do that. He simply… lacks organization.

That sounded lame even to her own ears, and Stuart shrugged dismissively.

_He simply lacks time for me, and I can't blame him. You don't need replacement for something you finally have. It just… sucks, you know?

Penny wasn't a genius in science or scholar stuff. She was even book dumb by her own admission. She however had a knack for "getting" people, good enough that she even considered becoming a psychologist back before she realized her only way out of Nebraska was her pretty face and acting skills.

_So you… felt like a replacement for a girlfriend before Lucy came up?

_I wasn't replacing anyone. I was merely convenient until he finally found a girl.

The store owner let out a short, humorless laugh.

_Kind of like a bedwarmer, without even the sex.

The waitress took in a deep breath, before asking cautiously:

_Stuart… Was there something between you and Raj?

_No.

_...Did you want there to be?

_Oh god, yes.

His pained hazel eyes me hers, and she felt her heart ache for the man beside her. Hooking an arm around his shoulder in a way fairly reminiscent of the one she hugged Rajesh himself only hours ago, she let him pour out his feelings.

_At first, I thought it was going to be a simple benefits thing, you know? I mean, he invited me on a date, and he was always saying those things, like some kind of queerbait one-liners that sounded just _too_ gay to be completely unintentional. Then I heard about the Howard thing and I was okay with that, I mean I'm already pathetic, what's a bit more, right ? But then…

Then Howard came back and Raj didn't make the slightest attempt at pushing him away. Better –or worse, maybe- he hadn't stopped with the innocently perverted comments, which had started to sound more and more like invitations. When he said that thing when they were playing D&D… _"Pull out your magic rod and give it to me"_… It had taken all of Stuart's willpower and social anxieties to stop him from pushing the cute Indian down on the mattress and show him real _magic_.

_And then he came up with that Valentine's Day idea and, somehow I was sure our relationship would change…I just didn't expect it to go backwards.

_Oh sweetie…

Penny embraced the guy who had slowly but surely became one of her dearest friends even tighter, and felt like crying when she heard the pained sob he tried to choke back. Stuart Blooming was a wonderful man, as she had come to realize with the time. He never once complained when she dumped him for Leonard, or when Amy used him to make Sheldon jealous. He had understood and listened, and kept on providing both men with their favorite comic books every week.

For him to openly acknowledge his being hurt by Raj's unintentional dickmoves… He had to be in a lot of pain. Or to have drunk an awful lot of vodka.

And she was left to mend his broken heart.

_Stuart… Have you considered the option that he might… not be gay?

_Of course I have! he answered rather violently, temper flaring. But I've known him for years, Penny, years! I've watched all of his ridiculous lovestory with Howard evolve like I watched Dallas, and I've seen him time and time again ogle Tony Stark and other, _male_ superheroes for so long I can actually tell when he's reading or when he's checking someone's ass ! Hell, three weeks ago he got a hard-on watching the Tenth Doctor wave his sonic screwdriver! He might be in denial even if he's fucking thirty-one, but he's so obviously bisexual it's like a producer's keeping him in the closet!

Wow. Her thoughts exactly. Holding up her hands in a peaceful gesture, she was surprised to see his breathing becoming even more erratic and panicked. Of course, with all his anxiety issues and medications, getting that much riled up in such a short timeframe could not be good.

A small panic attack later, she was rubbing his back gently when inspiration struck.

_Sweetie… You know, he just got dumped…

_That doesn't change anything, he replied immediately. I don't want to be the sad replacement in some sort of twisted bromance fuckery, until the next pretty girl comes up. I-I've had enough being a bedwarmer to suffice a lifetime.

_Then maybe you should try and…I don't know, seduce him?

The disbelieving look Stuart sent her made her frown. Aah, low self-esteem… she had never really thought about it, but many of his issues came from a deep-seated self-deprecation…Uh, that was a job for Leonard's mom.

But she had to do something about it, because clearly the situation was hurting her friend. She felt a sudden burst of anger towards Rajesh ; honestly, the guy was thirty-one ! Couldn't he come clean with his feelings and attractions ? Bernadette had told her about his latent crush on the microbiologist, and she was sure that somehow the whole thing was linked to the current situation. And now that her favorite indian could talk to women... It could get even worse.

_Common, you know he's at least bi, why not giving it a try?

_Because I don't wanna be rejected and feel even more pathetic?

Penny bit her lips. Then, in a tentative voice, she tried another approach.

_You say you don't want to be the rebound friend anyway… What do you have to lose? At the very least it will open his eyes on his sexuality…And yours. And the way he acts towards you.

_And what if a pretty girl come along and he excludes me again? This screwed-up friendship…It's all I have, and even if I don't want that bromance shit…I still care about him, you know?

The room became suddenly brighter, and both friends looked up to see the street lights had been "switched on".

_You should probably go. the store owner finally said, standing up on wobbly legs. It's getting pretty late, and the neighborhood isn't all that charming after dark.

She nodded, feeling a bit defeated, yet still gave him a one-arm hug.

_I guess I'll see you around? Just because Raj is being a blind dumbass doesn't mean you have to avoid your other friends, too.

He too nodded, looking moved.

_Fri- Yeah I'm sorry, I… will be around. Goodnight, Penny.

_Goodnight, Stuart.

As she opened the door to leave, inspiration struck.

_You know, Raj says you can't ruin a friendship with sex. That it would be like ruining an ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Hearing his shocked and somehow amused gasp at her words, and the thoughtful silence that followed, she smirked. Perhaps there was hope for the two socially awkward lovebirds, after all.

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_Reviews ?_


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